davejenbarnes

Today is the birthday of two of our parents!

My mom… she’s always been there for me, even when I didn’t know it. She is fast becoming one of my best friends. I wouldn’t say we were all that close while I was growing up, but now that time has passed and I’m here with David and we’re starting out our lives, my mom has become so much more to me. I’m asking her questions I never thought to ask when I was at home, her home, and, yes, a little-bit my home still too. I’m cherishing the times we can get together and I’m looking forward to the times I will need her again.

Mom, the Mall of America trip was so much fun! I had forgotten how good it is to shop with you, find comfy shoes with you, go to a movie with you, be amazed with you (IKEA, wow), and just sit and chat with you. Probably my favorite time of the weekend was moving to the table closer to the edge to sit and watch the Camp Snoopy rollercoasters and hear the trombonist, trumpeter, tubist and two drummers play their way though the mall. I had a lot of fun listening to the locals with you! The crazy van driver and late-nite pizza delivery… the Sports grille and Bubba Shrimp! … Love Sacs and the huge Apple store! DSW Shoes and who would have guessed we would find what we did at SEARS?! Seeing the QVC TV camera on location in the mall! That was a fun trip, mom! Thank you for the wonderful memories!

Today is also David’s dad’s birthday… and while I do not know him as well as I know my mom, Mike Barnes is the best dad-in-law I could possibly have! Right now, he’s in Florida with the Texas Baptist Men’s Relief crew on the chainsaw team clearing roads of fallen trees which were knocked down by the two hurricanes.

Wherever in FL you are, Dad Barnes, Happy Birthday to you too! David and I are praying for you and the chainsaw!

I keep getting that stupid time of the month that shows up when God says, “Wait.”  I feel like a little kid in a store… when the mom and dad say something like that and the kid gets all upset and his face turns red and then there are tears.  Oh, the tears.  Falling, like a waterfall of selfishness.  And the only thing I can do to make it all better, to dry the tears, in all my human-ness, is to reach up to God to comfort me and tell me it’s okay. Everything will be okay. I think God is trying to tell me to love Him more than I want kids.  Maybe that’s what He’s waiting on, who knows, but right now, the children are outweighing Him in my want department.  It’s really hard to admit, but absolutely true.  Painfully true.  Embarassingly true.  *ghasp! Can you believe it?  Me neither, but I know something that will help.   Prayers… …for my desire for God to grow into an all-consuming, gut-wrenching, drop-everything, can’t-live-another-minute-without-it desire and for my desire to have children to be a healthy desire and in perspective with God’s plans for my life.  It’s a tough prayer, but one I’m teaching myself to pray every day when I feel my selfish tears wanting to spill out all over my face and down my chin.  

Desire. Desire. Desire. Desire. Want. Want. Want. Want. We humans are so utterly wrapped up in ourselves.

Make me… Take me… Break me… I am pierced
Make me… Take me… Break me… I am pierced

Though I am wounded — and unworthy
Though I am selfish — and untrue
You are holy,
You’re the healer,
You forgave me — and made me new
You made me new

Make me… Take me… Break me… I am pierced
Make me… Take me… Break me… I am pierced

Oh this love how can it be
That my God would die for me
For my sins His wounds did bleed
Jesus you were pierced for me

Make me (Make me Lord Jesus)…
Take me (Take me Lord Jesus)…
Break me (Break me Lord Jesus)…
I am pierced

Make me (Make me Lord Jesus)…
Take me (Take me Lord Jesus)…
Break me (Break me Lord Jesus)…
I am pierced

Make me (Make me Lord Jesus)…
Take me (Take me Lord Jesus)…
Break me (Break me Lord Jesus)…
I am pierced

Make me (Make me Lord Jesus)…
Take me (Take me Lord Jesus)…
Break me (Break me Lord Jesus)…
I am pierced — I am pierced

Audio Adrenaline, Pierced

My complextion has cleared almost in a matter of minutes. I am now almost sure that this month is another No from God. I wasn’t really sure until I washed my face just now, but it is 75% less bumpy and broken out than it was this morning, just like every day I’ve ever gotten my period — the one sure thing I can always count on — clear skin with a price.

Pictures of all three baby girls born to our friends and family in August are up in the gallery. I visited Nicole for a brief time, enough only to capture the 7 pictures of Hailey and hear the latest “poo” stories. David and I are praying actively for all three girls: Kambry (our niece), Hailey, and Sophia (born to David’s cousin, Adam and his wife, Meredith) and hopefully we will be able to see Kambry again this weekend. We also have a visit to the Magee’s planned while we’re in Dallas, so we’ll probably bring back pictures of little Aiden too!